Dating a recovering alcoholic man

8 Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery

This condition is characterized by an excessive emotional, physical, and psychological reliance on another person to boost your own self-esteem. Codependent relationships are not healthy for either partner.


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People in recovery often have a number of challenging issues in their past. To be a supportive partner, you need to have a solid understanding of substance abuse and recovery. Visit sites such as DrugAbuse. You can also find a wealth of information resources at your local public library.

Additionally, attending a support group for the friends and family of those in recovery may be beneficial. These groups let you learn more about addiction and recovery while providing a sympathetic ear when you face challenges in your relationship. People in recovery typically have a lot of meetings and appointments to attend.

Time spent with addiction counselors and support groups is an investment in a better future for both of you. As your partner progresses through their recovery, you have to find ways to be supportive as they work through their various issues if you are committed to the relationship long-term. If their baggage is too much to handle, you must be upfront and honest.

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Support does not mean being a babysitter or protector. The one thing they do want, however, is to know they have your support and encouragement.

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8 Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery | Waypoint Recovery Center

Lastly—and perhaps most importantly—you need to know that while your relationship is important, you cannot neglect yourself and your needs. Your partner is going to recovery meetings, attending regular therapy sessions and engaging in productive activities that are allowing them to mature and grow into their recovery—you need to do the same. You do not want to slip into the role of being a caregiver or enabler in the relationship.

When you are in a relationship with someone who is recovering from drug and alcohol abuse, there are some things you must avoid. First and foremost, you must avoid trying to rescue or enable your partner. Another important step that you need to take when dating someone in recovery is to not be judgmental and question their every move. Unless you personally see warning signs that your partner is slipping, you must maintain an open mind and let the unwarranted suspicions go.

Lastly, you must avoid ignoring the signs of a possible relapse. Discuss with him whether he is comfortable with you drinking in his presence. Be respectful of his desire to maintain his sobriety and change your drinking patterns based on his needs.

What You Shouldn’t Do When Dating Someone in Recovery

Acknowledge that relapse is possible. Even alcoholics who have been in recovery for long periods of time have the potential to relapse. Be aware of the triggers the person you are dating has told you about. Offer your support by helping her to avoid these triggers. If she has a stressful or bad day, engage in an activity that has stress-reducing qualities such as going for a walk or attending a support meeting.

'RELATIONSHIPS DURING RECOVERY' by Peter Walker

Avoid focusing your entire relationships with him on his alcoholism. Be supportive and move past the disorder. Be aware of him as a person, not as a disorder.

Understand how alcoholism shows up in his life and the measures you have to take. For instance, some alcoholics can eat at a restaurant that serves alcohol, but the same restaurant can be a significant trigger for a more severe alcoholic. Find a trusted person to talk to outside of the relationship if you have concerns or stresses related to the alcoholism.